Internet Closet Clean Up

I decided to keep with this weeks theme during my Random Friday post. I worked on my personal goals in June and this has made me look into many aspects of my life.

In this age, most of us have an online self. For me, I have a blog, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I had almost forgotten about my website. While I wrote in my morning journal all of this came up as I reflected on my future.
Where did I want to go with my online presence? Why was it there?

I came up with these personal goals that you might want to think about. These goals are like house cleaning, but its the internet.

Your cleaning your internet closet. 

1. Remember all the Accounts
I have accounts all over the internet. I have a Tumblr, LinkedIn, YouTube, Goodreads, and on and on and on… The list feels endless. The passwords have become a problem since I change them so often. I wish I could access half of the accounts my name is linked too.

2. View The Profile
Holy crap! Look at how young I am in half of these pictures… and that spelling… damn! I must have been 16 when I created this account. You’re going to be as shocked as I was when I was reading all the about pages and descriptions linked to all these accounts. For example, my personal Facebook page was created when Facebook was born! Same for my YouTube account. I was the generation that got to experience these beautiful sites before ads and all the extras. I never changed the intro and about portions of the profile. I had an old website that I made in grade 8 attached to one of them. It was horrible.

3. Make a List
List out all the accounts you think you have. Access them, this is the hardest part, and delete the ones you no longer want. Sometimes it’s better to start fresh. I created a fresh YouTube and Google+ account because they had all my childishness attached to them. My personal Facebook isn’t for the public eye so that’s fine. With your list written, write notes beside the site what you need to fix. Might be the profile picture, the cover art, website, intro, or a good freshen up to the home page.

4. Delete!
Delete what is no longer useful to you. This is more for entrepreneurs, freelancers, or people in the public eye. I started with my YouTube channels. They weren’t helping me progress with my writing. I found that they were blocking me from doing what I enjoyed. I felt free when they were gone. The same goes for other accounts that you might have spread out. If you’re not checking your message you upset someone that might be reaching out to you. I currently have three emails. A personal, business, and junk email. These are all linked together so I can keep an eye open for people reaching out to me. For my other social networks, I make time during the day to respond. If you can’t make time for that account. Delete it. Build a strong bond with what you love. Don’t let the others drag you down.

5. Update
Is your photo a current photo? Do they all match? Are you a teen in one of the photos? Is the cover photo showcasing the newest item you have for sale? These are great questions to ask yourself as you go through each account to update it. Make sure your email is spelt right, the website is current, and your blog is attached somewhere. These will all help you reach out with a fresh new look.
These are goals I have in place for August. I plan to have a fresh website and a current photo of me plastered all over the internet. Beleive it or not, my hair is down to my waistline. It’s time to freshen up my accounts. I feel the need to utilize my Tumblr account as well. I have some plans written out for what I would like to have on that platform.

Do you have accounts out there that are outdated? What is the oldest account you have still running? I’d love to know what you find as you peek into your internet past.

 

Wicked Soul Ascension 
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Thin Butter on Stale Toast

I’m beginning to feel like thin butter on stale toast. Why? Well, I’ve begun to venture on many paths. This might be something that you’ve felt before or maybe your feeling it right now. I am currently on my blog, Two YouTube channels, Two Facebook pages, and writing my second novel. I also work a full-time job. Balancing life with all these tasks have been challenging. Even with the extra time I have given myself in the day. I’m beginning to think I should mould all of it together in one. I fear that I will piss people off when all they want is to read about when my next book is coming out. Or maybe they’re only interested in learning more about adoption. This blog is a blend of all those things and has been doing well. It helps that in the past few months I’ve been giving it love.

This came to my mind as I did my morning journal. I wrote, half asleep, about what was making my days feel drained. Was it waking up at the crack of dawn, maybe I needed to go to bed earlier, or maybe I was all over the place with my projects?
Audience is key. To get the right viewers or sales you need to know your audience and feed them their favourite foods. People love to get what they’re interested in or else they stop coming around. Am I giving them that? I know the audience of my book is those that like to read darker tales, watch horror films, and love the paranormal. My blog is far from that. My vlogs are far from that. And my Facebook pages don’t feed that fan base. I’m banging my head against the wall. I have created a fluffy platform because I’m a nightmare dress up like a unicorn. There will be changes to this in the future. I would like to grab a fresh warm piece of bread and spread on a thick layer of butter. No more of this thin stale crap.

I don’t think I’m going to keep up with my vlog. I will be deleting my adoption vlog and my vlog that’s connected to this blog. This blog and my Facebook page will become my main focus. I don’t know what will become of me in the future. That’s okay. I will continue doing my morning journal and find the weaknesses in my days, platform, and productivity.

I am human. I am change. I am growing.

Every day that passes I am focused on my goals for the future. My writings and books are my main passion. This is where I want my life to take me. If I eliminate the things that are blocking the path then I will become stronger in my craft. I will have more time for research. I will have more time to study. These are the things I am looking forward too.

I would love to hear from you in the comments below. Tell me if you feel like you’ve taken on to much? What do you plan to do about it?

 

Wicked Soul Ascension 
Want a read that will get your heart pumping?
Available in paperback and eBook.

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Link: Barns & Noble

Fixation

Do you ever get fixated on an idea? Then after you start that idea you begin to lose interest? This happens to me more often than I’d like to admit. I’m a starter…not a finisher.

Over the past two weeks, I have begun to change that. The past two weeks I’ve woke up at 5 am to get work done in the morning so I can have some relaxation time in the evenings with my husband. The posts this week were about productivity and health, and well, you guessed it, I’m fixated on the idea of becoming a better me. With that, I have started to make a few changes to my blog.

In the past, I wrote about writing and being an author, mental health and a whole wack ton of other random things. Really, this blog was a place for me to layout my weird ideas so they stopped floating around in my head. I think that I will have more set ideas a week than scattered days of random writings.

Since I wake up and hit my journal first thing I feel that my thoughts aren’t as scattered anymore. It’s been strange. I feel almost clear headed. Even though my mind is more organized I’m still fixated on the idea of health. I never really thought about health. I eat okay and I walk every morning, but it never really occurred to me that I should watch what I’m doing to my body. Not only my body but my mind as well.

When I get into these fixated fits I tend to over think things, research until I’m bored, or start huge projects that get in the way of what I truly want to be accomplished. The thing with this fixation is that it’s walking hand-in-hand with my goals. It’s making me set goals that are reachable. It’s given me more time in the day to accomplish those goals, and it’s given me the energy to complete them.

I think the last time I fixated this much on something was the adoption. I watched every vlog I could find on YouTube. I read blogs and books. I reached out to everyone I knew that had an adoption story to tell. It was good for me to learn about what my life is going to be like after the adoption. But, it was sporadic and had no time limit. I would be up until the wee hours of the mornings. I would skip meals. The house got a touch messy. I was in deep.

This new fixation has given me a time and a place for everything. My bedtime is set. I go to bed at 10 pm so I can have a fresh start in the morning. I eat my meals so I can have the energy for the days work. It’s been truly amazing. I hope that with all the knowledge I have gained over these two weeks I can have the right mind to keep working on ways to be better. And, know what’s working so I don’t change it.

I know I can’t be the only one that fixates on things. Do you? What is the last thing you remember being fixated on? Did it help improve your life for the better?

 

Wicked Soul Ascension 
Want a read that will get your heart pumping?
Available in paperback and eBook.

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Link: Chapters
Link: Barns & Noble

Another Crazy Idea!

If you read my last post about waking up bright and early each morning and thought that was crazy, well then, here’s a little treat. I am considering, but not yet going to do…give up on coffee. Not just coffee, but all other liquids other than water. I think that this will help me with my health goal.
Recently, I have been trying to better my mind. I’m reading every day. I’ve been plugging away at my book every morning. Watching videos on YouTube to learn what other authors are doing, or learning about my craft. It’s been a whole lot of brain food. Now, I think I need to start focusing on my body.

A healthy body. A healthy mind.

Water is going to be the beginning of my healthy body journey. I’ve also been wanting to start a workout routine. I’ve wondered how I could squeeze it into my mornings…I don’t know if I will have the time unless I wake up at 4:30am. If I do that I might lose out on to much sleep. These are all ideas for the future. I plan to have them scheduled into day-to-day life in two weeks. I have been doing research lately on how much water I need to drink, the food I’m to eat, and a workout. This way I can have a healthy body. I don’t want to be ripped or the be the strongest person on my block. I’m striving to be the best that I can be.

I’m already off to a good start with my walks every morning. I do need to start drinking more water through the day. I’m sure I drink more coffee than any other liquid. I drink a whole pot to myself every morning. I feel that habit needs to meet its ends pretty quickly. I don’t want to think about all the sugar I have before I get to work.

I would love to hear about your healthy habits in the comments below.
Do you drink coffee? Did you give up on coffee?
Please tell me how that made you feel.

 

Wicked Soul Ascension 
Want a read that will get your heart pumping?
Available in paperback and eBook.

Link: Amazon
Link: Chapters
Link: Barns & Noble

 

 

A New Life. A New Me.

There are many things in life I wish I could change but never knew how or when I would do them. The latest home study for our adoption opened my eyes to the possible changes that will happen to my life in motherhood. I knew then that I had to make these changes now, before children, that way they would be a natural habit.

One change that I worked on this past week was the time I woke up in the mornings. I felt that I never had any time in the day to write or read because I would be tired after work or would just like to watch a movie and relax with my husband. We both work full-time jobs that take away from our time together. When I wrote or read after work it seemed forced. I also got distracted from actually sitting down at the computer to plug away at edits. Reading before bedtime never happened since I fell asleep as soon as I crawled into bed. None of it was working…and my two favourite things always got pushed aside.
I watched a productivity video on Youtube that really struck a note with me. It was on a channel called Amy TV. She talked about waking up at five in the morning. I thought about how many hours that would give me before work. That’s when it hit me! I would gain three and a half hours to my day. That’s almost half my day at work. She also talked about having the day planned. I needed to know what I was going to do right after I got out of bed. So, I made a plan.
Wake up, drink a glass of water, write in my journal, eat breakfast, walk, shower, read, make lunch, write, and then go to work.

I followed this schedule to keep me moving through my morning. I didn’t have enough time to consider going back to bed.

I made a new YouTube channel to keep an eye on my progress. I also hope that it helps motivate other people to try new things. I would love to inspire people to follow their goals and accomplish them. The morning has given me the time I was searching for to get my novel completed. I also feel like my day isn’t zapped away by my day job. I hope one day what I am doing here on the web will become a full-time job. That’s one of my future goals. I knew I needed to start somewhere, and I finally did it!

Photography-2

 

This is the channel I have created if you would like to see how I am applying the changes to my life. Maybe they will work for you.
YouTube: World Filled With Choices

I would love to hear about what you do to make sure you have enough time in the day for the things you love. If you have any tips or tricks please leave them in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.

 

Wicked Soul Ascension 
Want a read that will get your heart pumping?
Available in paperback and eBook.

Link: Amazon
Link: Chapters
Link: Barns & Noble

 

 

Whispers of Demons

You. Me. That person over there. Everybody has them. Demons that sit on our shoulders whispering their promise. Some tell stories of beauty and desire. Others whisper their doubt and hatred. We can’t see them. We can’t hear the whispers of others. You hear yours and I hear mine.

I know the names of my demons. The loudest is Anxiety. This little critter tells me how much you’re going to hate this post. How many mistakes you, the reader, are going to point out. It tells me to delete it, give up, I’m not worth it. The other demon that’s always leaning over Anxieties shoulder is Depression. These two always travel together. Their BFF’s and love playing off one another. When my thoughts give in to Anxieties whispers Depression is there hinting at how I’ll never make it in life. It’s okay to never leave the bed again.

My shoulder is a crowded place. Dyslexia, Impulsive, Hypochondriac, and People-Pleaser…to name a few of mine. Some days they all talk at once. My head would get clouded. Thoughts would jumble making me forget why I entered a room. I’d avoid the woman in the mirror just to keep them quiet. Other days they’d be silent or whisper one at a time. You’re demons and mine are different. They may have the same name but they are not the same creature. My Impulsive demon may make me spend all my money where yours keeps you going out to parties. My People-Pleaser might force me to make you happy by giving you everything you desire while yours makes you dress in all the top brands.

Don’t listen to that Worry demon. There is a way to quiet them. Take my hand. We can do this together. Brush off your shoulders. They will climb back up to whisper in your ear again and again. We’ll have each other, let’s brush them off again. Just as you listen to them I will listen to you. Maybe we can tire out the demons, quiet their voices. They won’t go away forever. Together we can learn to live with them. Make them a strength instead of a weakness. Dyslexia used to keep me from reading, knifed my writing, and added to Depression. The older I got, the wiser I became. I figured out that I would never truly snuff out my demons. I had to hold their hands and grow with them not against them. Find a healthy balance.

And here I am today. Perfectly imperfect. Living with demons that whisper doubts and insanities into my ears. I found my support system within my family and friends, and they found support in me. Together we grow stronger. We get louder. And, we’ve learned how to be happy.

*******

I made this post thinking about a family member who is struggling to grip their mental illness. I wish I could crawl up into her brain and rewire it for her. Or, reinstall her mind. I know those are not options I can give. I can, however, stand by her as she learns her brain. I can give her strength by listening. And, I hope as the time goes by she will find a way to balance herself the way I have. I know what I deal with day-by-day is nowhere close to what she deals with. But that’s okay. I’m here to listen. I’m not here to turn it into a challenge of who’s more mentally unstable. Even if our mental illness shared the same name, it wouldn’t be the same.
They’re never the same.

 

Wicked Soul Ascension 
Want a read that will get your heart pumping?
Available in paperback and eBook.

Link: Amazon
Link: Chapters
Link: Barns & Noble

Shattered Brain

My mind shattered into thousands of tiny pieces on the floor. The senses and motor functions were the only bits left attached to one another. It floated in a blank void before me. I stood there in wonder as I studied each fragment; reading, gardening, hikes, beach walks, family, friends, YouTube, writing, and other random bits of what I thought I enjoyed laid out beneath.

My brain stripped to its primal functions with nothing left to enjoy.

No longer did I feel like me.
No longer did I create.

The large piece that was made up of family and friends called to me. They made up the core of who I was. I picked them up and placed them onto the bare brain. They attached themselves without fuss. They knew that they belonged.

The next biggest fragment was writing. I held the piece in my hands feeling the energy that overflowed from deep within. I had enjoyed this craft long before any of the others. I loved and hated this desire. It was pain and hardship, also my greatest pleasure. It fit snug behind a family. With only the three chunks in place, my mind was almost put back together. I studied the other thousands that laid out on top of the floor.
How would I they all fit? Would they all fit?

A waft of fresh forest air filled my nose as the fragments of the outdoors beckoned me. Swimming, hiking, camping, gardening, and campfires all fit back nicely. All the fun outdoor activities I enjoyed as a child, teen, and adult would never be left behind. I’d always need them.

I plucked tiny fragments and collected them in my hands. Music, painting, knitting, and candle making… one by one I stuck them to the brain. One by one they fell back to the floor. Confused, I picked up my newest hobby, YouTube. I made a channel in hopes to share my experience of adoption with my family and friends. I’ve worked hard on it for a year with hopes to connect with other adoptive families. I placed it to the brain in hopes it would stick. I wanted it so badly to fuse like the others. It dropped heavy to the floor. I reached for it again. I pulled and tugged but the fragment would not lift. Anger heated my face as I kicked it. Even then, it remained in place.

Defeated, I deflated to the floor with my hands outstretched above me. The brain was far from complete. Why would it not go back together? What was I missing?

My hand slapped the floor beside me. Pain ripped up my hand as blood began to spill from it. I sat up to examine my stupidity. There in the palm of my hand was a small shard. When I pulled it out I noticed it was all the books I read as a child. Puzzled, I glanced at the pile my hand struck. YA, fiction, nonfiction, historical, Manga, and all the other books I had ever read were all clumped together in a messy heap. I sucked the wound while the other hand rested on the books. A large fragment formed under the touch creating a forgotten love of mine. Reading.

It fit perfectly on the front of the brain. That left a small sliver in the back and middle to be filled. I scavenged the shattered piece for what it might be… Tried fashion, carpentry, social media, fitness, and cooking. Nothing seemed to work.

My career was a bigger piece then I expected. Cracked and dulled. I used to be enthusiastic about my job. As time wore on, I wore out. I didn’t expect it to click into the middle as smoothly as it did. The dreariness faded into a vibrant joy once again as it absorbed the energy from my other passions. It was only then I realized that my job as an Early Childhood Educator used my other skills. My love for people, reading, the outdoors, and writing all had a purpose in my career.

A silver sliver caught my eye as I admired the livelihood of my mind. It belonged to my secret love. Mechanics.

My mind was complete. And yet, thousands of fragments remained. Heavy cloudy pieces. I had pulled my attention in too many directions. These were all causing me to lose focus on what I truly enjoyed. But, they were not a waste. All of them belonged in my experiences. I balled all of them up and tucked them into my past. Things I have tried but won’t bother lifting again.

This story is about my one o’clock in the morning realization. (Yes, it’s that early as I type this.) I’ve put too much on my shoulders. Too many expectations. I need to give my mind a break. I no longer want to be a Jack-of-All-Trades Master of None. I want writing to be my main goal. I long to master it. So, I’ve decided to buckle down on my true craft.

 

Wicked Soul Ascension
Want a read that will get your heart pumping?
Available in print and eBook.

Link: Amazon
Link: Chapters
Link: Barns & Noble

 

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