Internet Closet Clean Up

I decided to keep with this weeks theme during my Random Friday post. I worked on my personal goals in June and this has made me look into many aspects of my life.

In this age, most of us have an online self. For me, I have a blog, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I had almost forgotten about my website. While I wrote in my morning journal all of this came up as I reflected on my future.
Where did I want to go with my online presence? Why was it there?

I came up with these personal goals that you might want to think about. These goals are like house cleaning, but its the internet.

Your cleaning your internet closet. 

1. Remember all the Accounts
I have accounts all over the internet. I have a Tumblr, LinkedIn, YouTube, Goodreads, and on and on and on… The list feels endless. The passwords have become a problem since I change them so often. I wish I could access half of the accounts my name is linked too.

2. View The Profile
Holy crap! Look at how young I am in half of these pictures… and that spelling… damn! I must have been 16 when I created this account. You’re going to be as shocked as I was when I was reading all the about pages and descriptions linked to all these accounts. For example, my personal Facebook page was created when Facebook was born! Same for my YouTube account. I was the generation that got to experience these beautiful sites before ads and all the extras. I never changed the intro and about portions of the profile. I had an old website that I made in grade 8 attached to one of them. It was horrible.

3. Make a List
List out all the accounts you think you have. Access them, this is the hardest part, and delete the ones you no longer want. Sometimes it’s better to start fresh. I created a fresh YouTube and Google+ account because they had all my childishness attached to them. My personal Facebook isn’t for the public eye so that’s fine. With your list written, write notes beside the site what you need to fix. Might be the profile picture, the cover art, website, intro, or a good freshen up to the home page.

4. Delete!
Delete what is no longer useful to you. This is more for entrepreneurs, freelancers, or people in the public eye. I started with my YouTube channels. They weren’t helping me progress with my writing. I found that they were blocking me from doing what I enjoyed. I felt free when they were gone. The same goes for other accounts that you might have spread out. If you’re not checking your message you upset someone that might be reaching out to you. I currently have three emails. A personal, business, and junk email. These are all linked together so I can keep an eye open for people reaching out to me. For my other social networks, I make time during the day to respond. If you can’t make time for that account. Delete it. Build a strong bond with what you love. Don’t let the others drag you down.

5. Update
Is your photo a current photo? Do they all match? Are you a teen in one of the photos? Is the cover photo showcasing the newest item you have for sale? These are great questions to ask yourself as you go through each account to update it. Make sure your email is spelt right, the website is current, and your blog is attached somewhere. These will all help you reach out with a fresh new look.
These are goals I have in place for August. I plan to have a fresh website and a current photo of me plastered all over the internet. Beleive it or not, my hair is down to my waistline. It’s time to freshen up my accounts. I feel the need to utilize my Tumblr account as well. I have some plans written out for what I would like to have on that platform.

Do you have accounts out there that are outdated? What is the oldest account you have still running? I’d love to know what you find as you peek into your internet past.

 

Wicked Soul Ascension 
Want a read that will get your heart pumping?
Available in paperback and eBook.

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Link: Chapters
Link: Barns & Noble

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Fixation

Do you ever get fixated on an idea? Then after you start that idea you begin to lose interest? This happens to me more often than I’d like to admit. I’m a starter…not a finisher.

Over the past two weeks, I have begun to change that. The past two weeks I’ve woke up at 5 am to get work done in the morning so I can have some relaxation time in the evenings with my husband. The posts this week were about productivity and health, and well, you guessed it, I’m fixated on the idea of becoming a better me. With that, I have started to make a few changes to my blog.

In the past, I wrote about writing and being an author, mental health and a whole wack ton of other random things. Really, this blog was a place for me to layout my weird ideas so they stopped floating around in my head. I think that I will have more set ideas a week than scattered days of random writings.

Since I wake up and hit my journal first thing I feel that my thoughts aren’t as scattered anymore. It’s been strange. I feel almost clear headed. Even though my mind is more organized I’m still fixated on the idea of health. I never really thought about health. I eat okay and I walk every morning, but it never really occurred to me that I should watch what I’m doing to my body. Not only my body but my mind as well.

When I get into these fixated fits I tend to over think things, research until I’m bored, or start huge projects that get in the way of what I truly want to be accomplished. The thing with this fixation is that it’s walking hand-in-hand with my goals. It’s making me set goals that are reachable. It’s given me more time in the day to accomplish those goals, and it’s given me the energy to complete them.

I think the last time I fixated this much on something was the adoption. I watched every vlog I could find on YouTube. I read blogs and books. I reached out to everyone I knew that had an adoption story to tell. It was good for me to learn about what my life is going to be like after the adoption. But, it was sporadic and had no time limit. I would be up until the wee hours of the mornings. I would skip meals. The house got a touch messy. I was in deep.

This new fixation has given me a time and a place for everything. My bedtime is set. I go to bed at 10 pm so I can have a fresh start in the morning. I eat my meals so I can have the energy for the days work. It’s been truly amazing. I hope that with all the knowledge I have gained over these two weeks I can have the right mind to keep working on ways to be better. And, know what’s working so I don’t change it.

I know I can’t be the only one that fixates on things. Do you? What is the last thing you remember being fixated on? Did it help improve your life for the better?

 

Wicked Soul Ascension 
Want a read that will get your heart pumping?
Available in paperback and eBook.

Link: Amazon
Link: Chapters
Link: Barns & Noble

Whispers of Demons

You. Me. That person over there. Everybody has them. Demons that sit on our shoulders whispering their promise. Some tell stories of beauty and desire. Others whisper their doubt and hatred. We can’t see them. We can’t hear the whispers of others. You hear yours and I hear mine.

I know the names of my demons. The loudest is Anxiety. This little critter tells me how much you’re going to hate this post. How many mistakes you, the reader, are going to point out. It tells me to delete it, give up, I’m not worth it. The other demon that’s always leaning over Anxieties shoulder is Depression. These two always travel together. Their BFF’s and love playing off one another. When my thoughts give in to Anxieties whispers Depression is there hinting at how I’ll never make it in life. It’s okay to never leave the bed again.

My shoulder is a crowded place. Dyslexia, Impulsive, Hypochondriac, and People-Pleaser…to name a few of mine. Some days they all talk at once. My head would get clouded. Thoughts would jumble making me forget why I entered a room. I’d avoid the woman in the mirror just to keep them quiet. Other days they’d be silent or whisper one at a time. You’re demons and mine are different. They may have the same name but they are not the same creature. My Impulsive demon may make me spend all my money where yours keeps you going out to parties. My People-Pleaser might force me to make you happy by giving you everything you desire while yours makes you dress in all the top brands.

Don’t listen to that Worry demon. There is a way to quiet them. Take my hand. We can do this together. Brush off your shoulders. They will climb back up to whisper in your ear again and again. We’ll have each other, let’s brush them off again. Just as you listen to them I will listen to you. Maybe we can tire out the demons, quiet their voices. They won’t go away forever. Together we can learn to live with them. Make them a strength instead of a weakness. Dyslexia used to keep me from reading, knifed my writing, and added to Depression. The older I got, the wiser I became. I figured out that I would never truly snuff out my demons. I had to hold their hands and grow with them not against them. Find a healthy balance.

And here I am today. Perfectly imperfect. Living with demons that whisper doubts and insanities into my ears. I found my support system within my family and friends, and they found support in me. Together we grow stronger. We get louder. And, we’ve learned how to be happy.

*******

I made this post thinking about a family member who is struggling to grip their mental illness. I wish I could crawl up into her brain and rewire it for her. Or, reinstall her mind. I know those are not options I can give. I can, however, stand by her as she learns her brain. I can give her strength by listening. And, I hope as the time goes by she will find a way to balance herself the way I have. I know what I deal with day-by-day is nowhere close to what she deals with. But that’s okay. I’m here to listen. I’m not here to turn it into a challenge of who’s more mentally unstable. Even if our mental illness shared the same name, it wouldn’t be the same.
They’re never the same.

 

Wicked Soul Ascension 
Want a read that will get your heart pumping?
Available in paperback and eBook.

Link: Amazon
Link: Chapters
Link: Barns & Noble

Shattered Brain

My mind shattered into thousands of tiny pieces on the floor. The senses and motor functions were the only bits left attached to one another. It floated in a blank void before me. I stood there in wonder as I studied each fragment; reading, gardening, hikes, beach walks, family, friends, YouTube, writing, and other random bits of what I thought I enjoyed laid out beneath.

My brain stripped to its primal functions with nothing left to enjoy.

No longer did I feel like me.
No longer did I create.

The large piece that was made up of family and friends called to me. They made up the core of who I was. I picked them up and placed them onto the bare brain. They attached themselves without fuss. They knew that they belonged.

The next biggest fragment was writing. I held the piece in my hands feeling the energy that overflowed from deep within. I had enjoyed this craft long before any of the others. I loved and hated this desire. It was pain and hardship, also my greatest pleasure. It fit snug behind a family. With only the three chunks in place, my mind was almost put back together. I studied the other thousands that laid out on top of the floor.
How would I they all fit? Would they all fit?

A waft of fresh forest air filled my nose as the fragments of the outdoors beckoned me. Swimming, hiking, camping, gardening, and campfires all fit back nicely. All the fun outdoor activities I enjoyed as a child, teen, and adult would never be left behind. I’d always need them.

I plucked tiny fragments and collected them in my hands. Music, painting, knitting, and candle making… one by one I stuck them to the brain. One by one they fell back to the floor. Confused, I picked up my newest hobby, YouTube. I made a channel in hopes to share my experience of adoption with my family and friends. I’ve worked hard on it for a year with hopes to connect with other adoptive families. I placed it to the brain in hopes it would stick. I wanted it so badly to fuse like the others. It dropped heavy to the floor. I reached for it again. I pulled and tugged but the fragment would not lift. Anger heated my face as I kicked it. Even then, it remained in place.

Defeated, I deflated to the floor with my hands outstretched above me. The brain was far from complete. Why would it not go back together? What was I missing?

My hand slapped the floor beside me. Pain ripped up my hand as blood began to spill from it. I sat up to examine my stupidity. There in the palm of my hand was a small shard. When I pulled it out I noticed it was all the books I read as a child. Puzzled, I glanced at the pile my hand struck. YA, fiction, nonfiction, historical, Manga, and all the other books I had ever read were all clumped together in a messy heap. I sucked the wound while the other hand rested on the books. A large fragment formed under the touch creating a forgotten love of mine. Reading.

It fit perfectly on the front of the brain. That left a small sliver in the back and middle to be filled. I scavenged the shattered piece for what it might be… Tried fashion, carpentry, social media, fitness, and cooking. Nothing seemed to work.

My career was a bigger piece then I expected. Cracked and dulled. I used to be enthusiastic about my job. As time wore on, I wore out. I didn’t expect it to click into the middle as smoothly as it did. The dreariness faded into a vibrant joy once again as it absorbed the energy from my other passions. It was only then I realized that my job as an Early Childhood Educator used my other skills. My love for people, reading, the outdoors, and writing all had a purpose in my career.

A silver sliver caught my eye as I admired the livelihood of my mind. It belonged to my secret love. Mechanics.

My mind was complete. And yet, thousands of fragments remained. Heavy cloudy pieces. I had pulled my attention in too many directions. These were all causing me to lose focus on what I truly enjoyed. But, they were not a waste. All of them belonged in my experiences. I balled all of them up and tucked them into my past. Things I have tried but won’t bother lifting again.

This story is about my one o’clock in the morning realization. (Yes, it’s that early as I type this.) I’ve put too much on my shoulders. Too many expectations. I need to give my mind a break. I no longer want to be a Jack-of-All-Trades Master of None. I want writing to be my main goal. I long to master it. So, I’ve decided to buckle down on my true craft.

 

Wicked Soul Ascension 
Want a read that will get your heart pumping?
Available in print and eBook.

Link: Amazon
Link: Chapters
Link: Barns & Noble

 

Audiobooks and Novels

Welcome to my first Random Fridays. It’s going to be a fun little blurb about my different experiences all book-related! I’m excited to get this rolling.

Audiobooks and Novels
I’ve done a blog post about how I fell in love with audiobooks a while ago. This post is going to be the pros and cons I have found with both. I love reading in all types of forms whether it’s reading the newspaper, blog, or book to listening to people read to me. Peoples abilities always amaze me.

Audiobooks

Pros:

  • I can listen to a story while I clean the house, garden, shower, or drive. The hands-free experience makes chores and other tasks more enjoyable.
  • The reader can pronounce the names, sometimes, and words I would have struggled with. This makes the story music to my ears.
  • If the reader can switch between the characters voices the story becomes more real.

Cons:

  • If I’m laying in bed I fall asleep…the story continues.
  • Sometimes the story is captivating but the reader is meh… There are audiobook readers out there with voices I can’t stand.
  • People don’t know your listening to a great story…and they start a conversation.

Novels

Pros:

  • The physical copy! Oh, the smell… the weight! Nothing beats holding a book! I can also admire the beauty of the cover.
  • Being able to read the words in written form helps me learn new words and grammar that I might not experience elsewhere.
  • When I fall asleep I can wake up to continue where I left off.
    People fall asleep during movies, I fall asleep reading. It happens, kay…

Cons:

  • While reading for a long stretch of time my arms hands sometimes get tired. The dreaded needle pricks in my fingertips.
  • Life seems to always find a way to keep me from sitting on the couch to enjoy a good reading session.
  • People don’t understand that when I have a book in my hands I don’t want to talk. Readers aren’t bored! They want to read! Come on people!
    I can’t be the only one that thinks this way…

These are some fun things that I’ve put together. I would love to hear what your list is for either audiobooks or/and novels. I read dark fiction and fantasy if you have any suggestions please leave them in the comments. I would love to find a new audiobook where the reader has a unique voice.

Wicked Soul Ascension 
Want a read that will get your heart pumping?
Available in print and eBook.