I made a Youtube video yesterday and realised that I wasn’t in the right head space to make one. Lately, I haven’t been able to talk with all these things going on.
(Link to the video: Adoption Education Program.)
Writing a book, working full time, getting debt free, getting fit, adopting from foster care, and vlogging about the adoption. It has taken up more time then I imagined. I haven’t been able to time manage all these things. I’ve realized after I posted my video about the AEP, adoption education program, that I mumbled about the weather more times then I would have liked. I rushed through the editing so I could make dinner.
I need to rethink about how I would like to manage my time. I did this for my writing last year and I was able to publish a book. A schedule is needed when you have so much on the go. I love writing. It is my main passion when it comes to life. I would love for it to be my full-time job so I can have flexible hours when Mark and I are placed with our child.
Adoption has been weighing heavily on my mind.
Adoption has taken up most of my energy as I have been trying to contact social workers, educating myself about adoption, and talking to friends and family about the adoption. With my YouTube channel, Our Journey to Family, I have tried to answer as many questions about our process. There are weeks where we haven’t moved forward and I am online looking at profiles of the Children in Waiting. Every time I read those little profiles my heart hurts for them. I know we can’t adopt all of them…
With the vlog, I hope to educate people about adoption. If I could get one more family to think about adoption then I will be satisfied. It was an easy choice for us, but that’s not the case with everyone else.
Adoption can be scary. You don’t know the trauma that your child will come with. It’s a hard transition for the children that come into your home. For one, they were chosen to be part of a family. And on the other hand, they were given up/taken by their biological family. Mark and I both had blessed childhoods so it’s hard for us to truly relate what the child will be going through. We both know we have the patients and the support from our family to help our child however they need.
Vlogging about adoption has me facing my biggest fear. People hearing my voice. I am trying to get better with how I present myself on camera. There are moments though, where videos like yesterdays happen. Where I mumble about everything under the sun, and the sun. I should rename the video Rambles by Chianne due to me bouncing all over the place. But the vlog is a life vlog as well. The adoption in at the point of a standstill so there isn’t much to discuss.
I want to do a video covering the emotions that go with being able to see the children’s profiles (no pictures) and wondering about our lives together. It has given me much to think about. There are many more videos that I would like to do covering trauma, FASD, and what we learn through our AEP and home study.
Now it’s time to hit the time management board.
If there is anything that you would like to learn about adoption or have an adoption story please let me know in the comments below.
Thank you for reading,
C. B. Dixon